Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize