You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
