i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize