I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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