I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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