I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Randomize
