no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
