im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
