just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
