I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
