We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
This toilet bowl is my home.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
