C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
