We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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