it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
