I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
