There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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