Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
