so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
