so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
