Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He better not be in your backpack
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
