Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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