I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize