Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
