yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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