Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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