I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize