do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
