She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
