The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Randomize
