my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I seem to have left my pride at pride
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
