On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Nobody cheats on THIS.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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