Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
