do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
dude. I can hear the air.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize