I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
