My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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