You're earring is so big in my mouth
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
