I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
