So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
