If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
