I think I died a long time ago.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
