I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
