i think my tv is drunk
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
