does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
