do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
