There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
