Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
how drunk are you?
Several
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
