standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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