Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
