apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
