This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
