He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
