speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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