Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
