this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
