I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
