You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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