Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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