He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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