don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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