my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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