i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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