i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
