Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize