is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
